'don't try to understand me, I am in a foreign language'

During a lifetime we spend a lot of time to fit in. We want to be understood by others. We look for acceptance. Yet many people have difficulties understanding us if we do not conform, if we think differently. In John Le Carré's "the Spy who came from the Cold" the spy character says at one point to his lover: "Please do not spend your energy on trying to understand me, I am in a foreign language, take me as I am".
Perhaps we spend too much time trying to understand rather than just listening. An opera can sound terrific and bring us enormous pleasure even if we do not understand a word.

this is how a young Mexican caricaturist I recently met in Israel saw me

big shoes to fill

opportunities present themselves and we often do not hesitate to jump. At times the shoes are way too big and holding back may be a good option. Yet the risk of being called undecided is real.

floating

At times thoughts float to the surface of water and like dreams take flight as do ephemerae arising from larvae that lived for years hidden on the bottom of the creek.

Floating on water one might encounter
mating black snakes

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and a good man having second thoughts
returning to say good bye

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spider's web catching thoughts

Once started, the blog works like a spider's web catching random ideas floating through the pores of the exoskeleton.

synchronicity

The incentive to start a blog comes from sharing ideas with my son who started his in April.

Yet my writing had taken off many months ago in form of a rather private, handwritten notebook / diary. It is the result of dealing with great internal difficulties. While they were hidden, they must have been there forever. Every so often some of them were peeking through cracks in the wall, causing discomfort. After several unsuccessful attempts of finding help I was rather discouraged. Yet I finally managed to ask for help and admitting to needing support (a rather big step for a guy who has all the answers) and synchronicity brought me in touch with a true "Mensch". Affinity combined with intuitive reach through the cracks was instrumental in removing barriers thus opening access to feelings, emotions, and deeply rooted thoughts. Today I can find courage to write and willingness to share.